I have probably been crying for a minute or two . I just arrived home from sending hkgirl to the airport. Its been a while… or should I say, I have never felt this shit about life ever. Negativity can grow like a virus inside you and gives you a reason to be negative and angry about everything. Here is a list of things i found myself hating when i was on the train ride back home.
1 - I hate how there is no cell phone coverage in the london subways. I cant even say a final goodbye to hkgirl before her flight leaves.
2 - i hate how i didnt smile more for her in her week here.
3 - i hate how I had no one to talk to cos london's timezone is weird. my friends in US are still sleeping and my friends in HK just went to bed.
4 - I hate how I didnt buy much alcohol to drink myself to sleep.
5 - I hate how I cry each moment I think of her.
6 - I hate the fact that I cant go back in time.
7 - or for that matter, move time forward so I can see her sooner
8 - I hate the fact that I discovered a new level of love just as she left
9 - I hate how I couldnt tell her my feelings because I was too unhappy earlier
10 - i still hate how my cell phone still has no coverage cos I cant tell all these things to her.
these 10 thoughts hit me within a minute. It was then when i decided to just plug my iPod in and blast myself with Tricky's latest album and close my eyes. Then the on and off cell phone coverage got me several SMS's from hkgirl. I cried again.
... I guess this is how people feel like when they are forced to leave someone they love.
9 years ago